This morning I read from my Sarah Young book. It was a tough read for me.

It states that God has created this day in my life. Well…..this day is hard for me. I woke up in pain, took a shower hoping the hot water would loosen my joints and ease the pain so I could walk more easily. I took my pain meds, limped into the kitchen for coffee then sat down to read in hopes of feeling some inspiration for the day. As you can tell, I did not have the best attitude.

“No matter what your circumstances may be, you can find joy in my presence”. Let me just be real and tell you I did not feel the joy at this moment. I felt pain! I am homesick, I miss my boys, I miss my friends and family. I feel the strain of the journey. You better believe I told God all about it. Which is dumb because he already knew.

The writer goes on to remind me that God totally understands what I am feeling and he is with me even when I don’t feel it. He will never leave me.

And then the tears came…..the release I needed. The reminder that he is still there, that this too shall pass. This is a dark season for me, a painful one, but still only a season. As I let the emotion wash through me, my peace began to return.

I am reminded that the pain and discomfort is a sign of progress. One of the nurses told me in the beginning that as the radiation went on and the cells began to die my body would begin to fight against it. She said the tumor and cells around it would become angry and inflamed. Ha! Apparently, that thing is mad as hell right now!! It’s throwing a tantrum and making sure I know it. Ironically, that is something I should feel joy about! It means the treatment is doing what it should!

As I begin to feel a calmness that comes from his presence…..and the pain meds kick in, I begin to settle down. I am reminded of all the men and women and children fighting Cancer on this day along with me. Many who are feeling much worse then me.

My God has power over all of this! I cannot back down from the fight, I cannot give in and let this ruin my day. With his strength, I will find some joy in today.

2 Comments on Find Joy in my Presence…….

  1. Lord I pray that you take away the pain that Melissa is having and let her feel your love and peace. You said in your word that you took all our sin and sickness on the tree that we be dead to sin should live unto righteousness and by his stripes WE WERE HEALED. Claim that scripture. It’s life and health to all your flesh.Praying the scriptures on tapes helps bring comfort and healing .While you are asleep it is getting into your spirit.Best medicine that l know. I have tapes if you need any. Continuing to pray.

  2. Ah sweet sister you are so enlightened to see things in this way. That in itself is HUGE. You are stronger than you know and it is because you are turning your eyes and heart to Him. He will obviously see you through this as you know, but also know that your words are touching so many and THAT is a purpose He has for you as well. So while this may be painful for you physically let your heart be light in knowing that you are helping and touching SO many through your ability to share this journey in such a spiritual and positive way. You are amazing and this is why He choose you to speak to others! YOU ROCK!!! I love you!!! You’re quite the inspiration!!

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