- I get to go home, to Clemson
- I will finish the first leg of this season in my life
- I will have my 25th radiation treatment
- I will sleep in my own bed
- I will Praise God for the things on this list and many other blessings!
I have been counting the days up to this, praying for it, longing for it. I couldn’t sleep last night and got up very early like a kid at Christmas. I still have far to go. I will be home for 4 weeks then return to Duke for surgery on December 3rd with post op appointment on December 27th.
If all goes well then I will have follow-up MRI AND CT tests every 3 months for 3 years. When I heard this, it hit me a little. On the one hand I am glad that the doctors will keep a close watch on this highly recurrent disease. On the other, I realized that this is something that will be a part of my life in some way for a long time. Without God’s peace I see how this could be stressful wondering what will be found at every test. I have already started praying for a peace that passes all understanding. I will put my faith in God and place that burden at his feet every time I feel the stress and worry invading my mind. Easier said than done, right? Yes, I know. Then again, that is the point of faith. Believing in something we cannot see, believing that when we pray, he hears us and comes to meet us where we are. I truly believe that. So, I will continue to pray and persevere.
Years and years ago I moved into my first apartment with my husband at the time in Greenville at age 20. We were both still in school so it wasn’t the Taj Mahal to say the least. A few months later, a group of men moved into the apartment across from us and would loiter outside on the steps day and night. When I would walk out to go to work or school they would say rude things, etc. At the time, my husband would leave for work at around 3:30 am every day. Being a young girl raised on a farm and very sheltered, I became extremely afraid all the time. My mother-in-law quoted a scripture to me and told me to pray that scripture over and over again when I could not sleep because of my fear. I began to do just that, every morning when I was alone in the apartment I would say it out loud over and over until I fell back asleep. This same scripture has helped me through many trials and is one of my go to’s even now. The more we pray, the stronger we become. I cannot say I am thankful for this trial but I can say that I am thankful for the perspective it has given me.
“For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope. Then when you call upon me and come and pray to me, I will hear you. When you search for me, you will find me. If you seek me with all your heart, I will let you find me” Jeremiah 29: 11-14a