It’s been a while since I shared a post. The last couple of weeks have been….well…..filled with ups and downs. The ups include confirmation that my now large open wound is slowly healing and that we are on the right track. To recap, after Dr. Brigman removed my stitches, the incision opened up. I have purposely chosen not to see it because I think it would make it harder for me to keep my spirits up. I am told that the opening is around 6 inches in length by 4 inches in width. Todd continues to pack it daily and told me he could see my spine and other bones, etc. YIKES!!
All the time leading up to the surgery I thought I would be back on my feet, working in my office in Greer, driving and totally independent by January 1. So, being told that none of that will be possible for another few months has been a huge blow to me. That would be the low part of the last couple of weeks. The realization and acceptance of this fact. Thankfully, I am able to work full-time from home. I cannot say enough good things about Endeavor Insurance and they way they have worked with me through all of this. They have been so good to me, we are a close knit group and I thank God for them.
I have said before that I feel God’s presence in the trials of the past months and that continues to be true. There are days when my frustration over my limitations make me so mad and ….. well….. frustrated that I can do nothing but cry. You know that mad cry where you just want to hit something? A couple of years ago, I worked out a 9rounds for a while. While it was a great workout, the best part was the release I felt from putting on my pink gloves and hitting the bags. I literally would be able to feel the stress leaving my body.
I can’t do that right now but I have found a way that works as well if not better. In those moments when I want to scream and have a pity party…. I stop and breath and pray. I make myself be still and quiet and let the presence of the Lord calm me and remind me that this too shall pass. Obviously, this is not always easy. I can be stubborn sometimes….. yes, me! 🙂
So, right now I am trying to make the best of what I can do and not dwell too much on what I can’t. I work from home as many hours as I can. I also have a new toy that I am pretty much obsessed with. For Christmas, Todd gave a Cricut. It’s a die cutting machine and there are tons of things you can make with it. I am going to be a crafting fool with this thing as soon as I learn how to use it!!
I know that my independence will be restored and now is the time for me to build my strength both physically and mentally……… and to use my new toy to monogram everything in site…. LOL!!