This morning…. I looked at my open wound in the mirror for the first time!
Shock does not even begin to cover it. Yes, I cried! All this time, I have known it is a large, deep opening in my body…BUT I did not have a visual image in my mind. I feel the pain of it, I experience the limitations it causes but my mind did not connect to what it looks like. Now I totally understand the reactions from family and very close girlfriends who have seen it.
Of course Todd says “you should have seen it a month ago”. Gotta love it! Thanks, Honey!
I finally worked up the courage to do this because Todd starts traveling again on Monday. I won’t lie, that is freaking me out a little. He has been with me everyday, packing and dressing the wound for me, taking care of me. He will be gone Monday to Friday for the next 3 weeks. I will miss my wound care specialist but more than that, I will miss him. Thankfully, I have my Mom and my bestie, KK, to step in for him. They are a Godsend!
It is so true that God gives you the courage when you need it to face the things you never thought you could! A year ago I would have never believed any of this or that I could get through it….. and I could not, alone anyway. I believe by faith that this wound will heal. To see it, that is hard to believe…… Faith Not Fear!!